seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
