All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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