oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
