At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
