he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
