I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
