dude i'm inner monologue high
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
