margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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