if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
