I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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