idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
