she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
