I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We don't watch enough power rangers
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
