Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
