I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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