Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
