If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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