Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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