Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
All I want is dick and wine.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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