So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
