I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
