I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
