Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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