Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
