Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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