Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He did a backflip because drugs
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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