when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
