I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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