sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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