tell your sister to shave her snatch
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
