Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I can text with my tongue
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
