Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
