doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
sex in a hospital.. check
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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