I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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