So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
