Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
