she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize