Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize