she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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