I could have mohawked her pubes.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
