Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
