Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
