My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
