I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
