normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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