are you so shy because you have an std?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
