just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
