btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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