Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
