You're so nebulous sometimes
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
