i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
