an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
