I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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