If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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