Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
