So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She told me I should be a condom model.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
