If i come over, it means nothing
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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