Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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