she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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