So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
