Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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